Dear DC Comics...

I know you don't care, and I'm pretty certain you'll never, ever see this, but hey, I'm getting this out because I feel like I have to exhale today or I'll just explode.

So I'm drifting around the internet and I find Rich Johnston musing on Rebirth Harley Quinn and how (at least in his perception) Poison Ivy might be about to break up with her. I know, it's Rich Johnston; listening to him is like listening to Jim Jones most of the time ("Here, drink the Kool Aid.") but still... fucker just put the cherry on my fucking day.

The thing is... I can see it happening.

Why do you say that, you say to me DC. Well, for a start, you're spineless. I know, I say that a lot, but let's face facts - as an entity you lack the spine or the balls to have a massively popular queer character. The hetero norm beckons, and everyone knows to your average teenage boy/thirtysomething manchild, bisexuality doesn't count where women are concerned. It's sexy for them to be with another girl, provided they come back to the straight edge of the crease.

Then there's the female fanbase. Lots of women and girls love Harley Quinn. Who gets cosplayed the most at conventions? Guess who? Guess whose new healthy relationship is embraced wholeheartedly by the female readers? No prizes there. You are though, and always will be, a boy's club. A treehouse with a "no girls" sign on it... I wish I could understand why you give so few fucks about female readers or female reader's opinions... I want to meet the women that hammered you guys flat to make you so bitter - if they're not Mrs Bates-level of mean, I'm gonna be way disappointed.

Also, for a company that's fucking obsessive about your big "mythic" events that "completely change" the status quo... you love the status quo. If you can find a way to roll it back to just what it was when it was selling big before you saw the numbers slipping and thought a huge multi-title crossover arc would fix the problem, you always do it. The more things change, the more they stay the same. So backing off the great work that's been done by Palmiotti and Conner... it's very you. And I trust you to flinch in the face of criticism from the loud (largely male) opinions out there, because you always do it. I know you very well. Much like with Harley herself, I recognise the smile of a man saying he's different, he's changed, he'll not hurt me again. But here we are, going through the motions, living in the moment before that balled-up fist hits me in the face.

Part of me wants to beg - please don't take away the one thing, the single fucking thing, that I like about your books. Hell, about pretty much all of your fictional universe (which I think is easily the biggest embarassment of riches compared to the 'meh' I see in Marvel, but all you do is squander it like an alcoholic junkie with a gambling addiction on payday) is wasted on me, so I'm certain you won't miss me at all, but it's the one joy in your titles. The one speck of hope I have. The last candle in oblivion. It would be just like you to do it...

Part of me though... part of me says do it. Why? Because then I will be so pissed off, I can finally muster the strength to be done with you. I can wipe the blood from my nose, pack my bags, and for the very last time walk out that fucking door and this time NOT come back. Just like my 'not one more penny' promise about BioWare. Those bastards broke my fucking heart, and I will never cough up for one of their games again. Hell, I wouldn't even play a free one on principle. And as much as Jimmy and Amanda's current work gives me the strength to keep reading, a little sliver of me would love to no longer live in fear of the slap, the kick, the push down the stairs I know is coming.

So go on. Do it. Pull the trigger. Break my heart all over again. Because I don't trust you to let me be happy in the largely joyless, heteronormative, boring-as-fuck-seen-it-all-before world of DC Comics.

Mic. Dropped.